The Unbearable heaviness of success stories
I have always been a reluctant writer. Whatever little I wrote during my school and college, was secretly submitted to handful of teachers or exclusively to editors of my college magazine and vetted in secrecy. I was relieved most of the pieces didn’t attract many eyes and I could bask in the idea that I am a good enough writer, albeit a private one. In retrospect I was passive and lacked the discipline to put in the work, admit that I actually suck before getting better. This time around I wanted to try better. For someone who is easily embarrassed, the thought of putting out my vulnerable moments and my personal life out to the world is every bit uphill and daunting. This was supposed to be the difficult part.
Productivity drill, on the other hand was supposed to be a breeze. I had read plenty of ‘how-to-write-blogs’ and put together a fool-proof todo-list where I planned everything to the T — the brainstorming, the writing, the editing, the re-editing. If all went well, this would have been my 50th article in all its glory shared on instagram with a detailed dos and don’ts list for everyone to follow. In reality, all I have is a growing drafts folder and dark circles from binge watching a cringe show on netflix. While I am still mourning the royal failure of my plan, I think it is important to write about this now.
We have all been repeatedly told that we should work in silence and only the success should roar.
That a meta piece about someone’s writing journey should be written only after x publications and y followers. That a weight loss journey is worthwhile only when there are distinct before and after pictures. That heartbreak can be spoken of only in the context of finally finding true love after struggles.
While I am all up for setting and celebrating milestones, let’s not glorify it to the point of greying out the beautiful in-betweens which is what most days of our lives are. The unnecessary pressure we put ourselves through to make a grand entrance — be it on social media, or even to our close circle results in ego-depletion and is counter-productive. Lets talk about everything — about the plant that died, the diet given up half-way, the trip that got cancelled, the pregnancy that didn’t last, the promotion that slipped by, the acne scars that didn’t vanish, the cake that burnt, the book that is unfinished, the relationship that ended, the injury that hurts. Lets talk about it NOW and not wait for it to turn to a success story.
